Intro
Grief has a funny way of showing up when everything seems to “make sense.” I’ve been turning this over in my head for about a week, and I finally decided to write it down—not to solve it, but to make peace with it. This post is for anyone who’s ever found themselves feeling confused, frustrated, or even angry at the emotional weight that logic just can’t lift. You’re not alone.
I’ve been struggling with something lately that I didn’t expect to hit me this hard—grief. Not just the feeling itself, but the way it completely defies logic.
My mother passed away. I knew it was coming. I had time to prepare. I knew, logically, that it was probably for the best. She was suffering, and watching someone you love go through pain is its own kind of slow heartbreak. So when it finally happened, my brain tried to comfort me with all the logical reasons why I shouldn’t feel overwhelmed.
But here’s the thing no one really prepares you for: grief doesn’t care about logic. It doesn’t care that everything “makes sense on paper.”
My brain keeps saying, “You knew this was coming.” “You said your goodbyes.” “She’s not suffering anymore.” And yet… my heart just hurts. There’s this ache I can’t rationalize away.
And that’s what frustrates me the most. The dissonance. The constant tug-of-war between my mind trying to reason its way through the pain and my heart refusing to let go. It makes no sense. And it’s exhausting.
I had this conversation with my girlfriend and her response was:
Grief does defy logic. It’s not something your mind can ‘solve.’ Even when everything makes sense on paper, it doesn’t cancel out the loss or the love.
And maybe that’s the point. Maybe grief is just love that has nowhere to go. Maybe it’s the price we pay for caring deeply, for connecting, for loving so fiercely that their absence feels like a missing piece of ourselves.
So if you’re like me, frustrated because your brain and heart are out of sync—know that it’s okay. You’re not broken. You’re just human.
And grief, as senseless as it feels, is just proof that love was there. And maybe still is.